Thursday, January 5, 2012

Failure to communicate.

"What we've got here is... failure to communicate."  That classic line from the movie Cool Hand Luke has been quoted and misquoted for decades, but it still rings true... even in marital relationships.  I see young couples struggle with communication, especially when the honeymoon period is coming to an end.  After a quarter of a century with the best gal this side of heaven, we still seem to occasionally have failures to communicate.

"Who left all the tracks on the kitchen floor!?!?"  I think she meant that as a rhetorical question, but being the diligent kind of man I am, maybe she could use some assistance in identifying them...

Ahh, but "who" is not the actual question... "why" is the question.  Well, let's see here: DOGS + SOGGY/WET YARD = MUD TRACKS IN KITCHEN... simple math!  Nope, still not the answer... OK, how about you said, "let the dogs in" so I did just as you asked... um, still not the correct answer to the question that was implied.   Hmmm, how about I let the dogs in, but I was talking on the cell phone and didn't wipe their paws, therefore they left muddy tracks across your clean kitchen floor... that you just finished scrubbing spotless an hour ago... Hey, now I'm on the right track, but... something isn't quite... oh yeah... that I'm going to wipe up again... right now.

I know, sometimes getting the message for me is about as slow as walking to the road to get the mail.   Truthfully, we really do compliment each other pretty well, but that means my strengths are her weakness and vice-versa.  It's kind of like a John Deere livin' with a Farmall... we're both interested in getting the field plowed, but we sometimes both think we have the best way to do it.  Now we could just always go with the right way... er, I mean my way... but that could result in me sleeping in the dog house... or barn... and it's cold out there these days.

I think the key is learning to trust and accept that your other half's ideas aren't necessarily wrong, just different.  She might like the shotguns on the left side of the gun safe and the rifles on the right side, but I like the most used guns up front and the least used guns towards the back.  Even though my way is... well, let's just say we'll put the least used shotguns in the back on the left and the most used shotguns up front and... you get the picture.  Sometimes you may have to compromise, but often you just have to listen and and treat her like a gentleman should.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, 
Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.
~Proverbs 16:24

So to some of the guys out there who haven't yet learned the art of communication with a gal, here's a simple test:  You might be single if you've ever said...

"Well, you're wrong."
"I'll take the .45, you use the .22"
"Because, my way is better."
"That's stupid."
"You're just like your mother."
"Will you look at the _______ on her!"
"I've had better."
"Have you got on the scale lately."
"I got you a pink gun 'cause you're a girl."
"Whatever your cookin' is stinkin' up the house."
"When are you gonna learn how to drive?"
"I love being with you Jen... I mean Lisa."

Ladies, feel free post a comment and lend a hand to the men out there who are still having trouble understanding... so we don't have a failure to communicate.


  1. Uh, asking ME about anything Female related is asking for trouble! Great post though and some pointers gained here!


    Even Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest minds of our times, can't figure out the females of our species.

  3. Well, as a guy i think I can add to your list:

    "Not as good as Momma's."

    "Yeah, those jeans Do make your butt look big."

    "Yeah, your sister is the pretty one."

  4. i think i've lost my ability to effectively communicate, too. :)

  5. Halfway through his analogy he came to a screeching halt with "No story involving an cow and a pregnant woman (that would have been me) can end well."

    He stopped. And that is why he still lives. *grin*